I was recently at a Walmart and discovered that they have a t-shirt line for losers.
I’m completely serious. Here are some of the slogans:
It’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious.
This beer is making me awesome.
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Hard work will pay off later…laziness pays off now.
What happened last night?
How can I be so thirsty when I drank so much last night?
Sarcasm – just one of my many talents.
That’s only about half – and not the worst ones – and I copied these from Walmart’s website, but there were many more in the store that I can’t remember. But a lot about sarcasm and laziness and…being a loser.
One I can’t fully remember was an equation: Sarcasm + Lazinesss + (something I can’t remember – probably drinking) = Awesome!
So, for some reason Walmart has got this graphic t-shirt line celebrating the dubious trinity of drunkeness, laziness, and sarcasm.
A real winner. If your market is losers.
Now this is calculated. Walmart doesn’t choose it’s product lines cavalierly and haphazardly. This is all carefully plotted.
So this is what Walmart thinks of it’s shoppers.
In all fairness, in some Walmarts I’ve seen a small graphic tee line called “Positivitees” with uplifting messages like “It’s all good.” But there are only four or five in this line, and they’re stuck on a back wall. The lazy, drunken, sarcastic loser graphic tee line is far more extensive and prominently displayed where it will attract maximum attention.
I looked around in this particular Walmart – which was a dump – and I noticed that the majority of the shoppers were slobs. Most of them looked like they were wearing their pajamas. Hair a mess. Not put together. Looked like they’d all just fled a burning apartment building. Even without the loser tee line this place was depressing.
Walmart knows this. They know their clientele. I mean, coincidence of a loser t-shirt line in a store filled with slobs?
They have another t-shirt: “I want to be a billionaire.”
Really? Think the same person buys both the billionaire and the lazy drunk t-shirts? Maybe a billionaire t-shirt and a screw hard work t-shirt?
A wise man named Mike Murdock said that every person contains a king and a fool, and the one you speak to is the one that comes out. Walmart appears to be targeting the fool in their customers. Granted, I’ve seen the “Positivitee” graphic t-shirt line in some Walmarts – didn’t see it in this one but it may have been there – but this line is small and far overshadowed by the loser line.
When I realized the volume of the t-shirt designs in the drunken, lazy, sarcastic loser graphic t-shirt line I felt something cold. This store was filled with slobs, but slobs are not beyond redemption. None of us are. In fact, those of us who look the worst are often the closest to redemption because we have no mask of perfection to hide behind. The shoppers at this dump of a Walmart needed to be inspired, not sneered at and condescended to.
I’ve never thought much about Walmart, good or bad. Except for the fact that I don’t like shopping at their stores because the isles are cramped and claustrophobic, and I feel like one of the chickens crammed in the cages at those chicken farms. I prefer Target. And I’ve never seen a loser t-shirt line at Target, although I could be mistaken. Haven’t done a dedicated study here.
But the drunken, lazy, sarcastic loser graphic t-shirt line at Walmart made me realize the esteem – or lack thereof – in which Walmart held it’s shoppers. And I felt nothing but contempt for this place. The same contempt they have for their shoppers.
They have another graphic t-shirt line at this retail reservoir of hope and JOY. It’s called “Faded Glory.”
PREVAIL OUT